bing bong

It’s hard to block the image and feeling of your eyes surging into mine

an entire world behind them

that I was afraid to enter at times

but I think in most moments

I could see through you

past that world you were so grounded in

But I don’t know if you knew where I was

and maybe I should have tried to tell you

but I’m not sure if you wanted to find me

because with other people that is where we meet

I wonder if you knew who you were

I wonder if you accepted it

I didn’t think to ask these questions and I’m unsure why they didn’t come up

I still can’t tell if we were too similar or too different

but I wanted to create something physical together so you could have something

self expression is built over a lot of time

and you make a lot of bad things, but you have to keep trying

I listened to a new couple sitting on the couch across from me

they seemed so relaxed, but it felt like they were on a movie set

maybe I don’t know my role well enough yet

in this world where we are all supposed to have one

but I think I will continue to refuse

we are in new york after all

though no boy has noticed the bit of green in my eyes before

I think I should have shared my world more too

winter is hard

and now I worry who else you may meet in the spring

I feel quite wilted