I singed my hair

from their roots

I caught a cold biking in the rain

Oh

I have learned that kindness makes me freeze

im sorry feels like a four hour long tower held up by a string

i guess this is why it takes me some time to thaw

Lots of clay to mold

Very plastic

Dream about folding a heavy blanket

I don't think my vocabulary knows how to express 

But unfortunately I don't think that's the reason I don't feel ready

You can't fold something so thick and have it sit neatly

it pushes back no matter how long you sit on it 

If you went I would maybe go

are just some words I feel in my sleep

I think I may be more like the sun in the winter

or maybe just the moon

lostless + in love w cliché

I completely understand

it is easier to place your soul elsewhere

in such a dream a flight away

and an alternate reality

so to not wake up in this one again

where the light seems always yellow and soft

and a voice soaked in something sweet like honey

so now it is extremely dark here and it is impossible to listen to anything but music

which makes you want to cry sometimes

and you wonder why you feel so lost

how lucky was I to meet you again six years later

to learn I am just really good at dreaming

happy, unfortunately

I feel ill prepared

glowing ash was shaped more like a wall

clouds below are black moving faster gliding under the above grey

my fingertips touch each other without recognition

silky however resilient

uncareful and less calculated

pulling a sliver of the moon

mom said “Moon jar proportion maybe safer”

I will throw a moonjar next !

I’m clearing over a pass

and looking at the sky less

There is a culmination within me and my words

start belonging to you

I can see my thoughts repeat

and that I pay more attention to the wall right above me on lonelier days

I really think I’m funny - the way I laugh alone

The ceiling around the lightbulb turned black

Eyes of intake

Your hands had the same feeling as sun on my skin

Air bubbles shined alkaline

I am trying to read

Unvoiced suggestions 

Why do I feel sick

The edge along your irises faded more blue

I am talking to the creature I live with

Remembering

i feel ruined

not because i am weak

because i was never supposed to be treated that way

and deceit is undiscerning and furthermore

evil

Recently

I get used to each face it just becomes feeling 

and I stay outside past peripheral

at what point do you trust someone to not get lost

out of sight. out of mind

I’m not friends with anyone who thinks they're going to heaven 

I think the sun should get closer

Thinking about you makes the ivy grow 

The way the room becomes blue in the background of the sun rising on your skin

I am no longer as green

I guess that is why

Hearing a telephone ring from the house next door felt unexpectedly comforting

Even if she picked up and answered in another language than mine

I guess getting a call from someone is something heartwarming

Remember

Why do I memorize your face

and look at the palm of my hand

I sleep with both eyes extremely closed

and I’ve been losing touch.

Satellites are as dense as clouds now

and I only look at my reflection on the trains that pass by

and constantly feel the need to invent new ways to tell time.

I've found a way to breath underwater 

so my dreams have been conversations lately

Maybe you worry I don't know you 

I’m trying to send a message somewhere I cannot see

My head was clear enough I spotted two stars in the green sky

I waited to see if they would move apart or closer

According to protocol 

Satellites will fool you

Hail

Salting my hair

So I’m holding your pinky without a promise

How ridiculous

Knocking on an empty shell that echoes

I leave it empty so it echoes louder

to be tormented…

10/16/24

wired cicadas drowsy

glazed into the lamps

electricity moved in ways which had sound

insects piled into fingers

blood and semen pooled 

lying still 

noise escaped 

vacuum chamber room

lacking matter

there is a difference between floating and falling with resistance

Korea

The sun sank into the ocean as it does

Mountain tunnels and electrical towers strung peak to peak

Shadows in the trees form words

Netted rock walls

A group of silver trees

A smudged building streaked with the color of the sky

Stained!

The salt pushes against my skin that is

like a tightly woven cloth

Bloated and bleeding sweat

Stained 

Too many times too many 

On the top of my lip and under my eyes 

I couldn't possibly breathe 

A wish

So small I'm sewn onto you

But I'm swelling 

I worry

Burrowed beneath the ground I stand on

Hollowing any solidity 

Between my feet and the earth's core

You lie waiting

Grinding your teeth 

Blisters in your ears

The sun has never looked closer

Yet you are stuck at the center of the world 

The voices taste sweeter eating sliced oranges

Grey patina silk

I grew teeth and hair and

Inherited a cyst the size of an orange

neverlasting

Narcissistic and vain

Better than being lame

Ring a round o' roses a pocket full of posers

Wring my fucking neck

Stitch my two brows together

Embalm me before I die

You'll still fall fast asleep

Float

It was a net made of strings from my heart

How do you hold my whole body and suspend it?

Are you still missing the skin on your pinky and ring finger?

Or did skin grow over me?

I only smoked cigarettes to keep you alive

Of course it burned a hole through those strings

So now I've fallen through and use it as a blanket