I am happy

they don’t love me anymore

to have had all my friends

and went swimming, clear water in my mouth tasting sweet,, salt water soaring my throat and swelling my tongue

that certain sun on my face that makes me remember

shaking moments of fear because i love you and relief of sacrifice and no consequence

and i can see they have made me love myself

and that’s why it is shiny the surface of the water

even though the ocean is so dark and deep

but how blue is the sea when our time is short

and i can tell your eyes will make me cry

how i forget in front of you

everything

I know I am not ill because I can feel pain !

because i have felt sick before

maybe that is why i look to get hurt

and why it feels so good

but i think it might be good now to accept being completely okay

where the dark of night is safe to sleep

walking alone but knowing i am not

feeling a swell of tears with immense happiness